note- ramblings of a mad man...tread softly

I ran for miles to find it
shattered my aspirations and motivations
to find content was my furious intent
I don't understand how i gave everything
cant argue if this is right or wrong
but this is how i have come to feel
card holder calls me to call as he sets out my deal
Its easier not to care
and pretend that all this is Godsend
'my destiny will unfold'
so we put our life on hold
waiting for the perfect of circumstances

don't you know that the world weeps for you?
the birds beckon you and the trees whisper screams..
I am going to sit and listen
vocalize, idolize no more and set to realize
not prescribed or destined
this is what they tell me
'when you're ready mohamed..when you're ready'
'I'll do it not for you' is what i whisper
'you will do no such thing, it is against the nature of your kind'
'What is it that makes me pretend im not engulfed in my own flames?'
'your own flames....your own flames mohamed'
'I don't understand? won't you just tell me the truth?'
'don't you know that the seven seas are just humanities tears?'
'...will the salty tears that sting our wounds fresh and old...drown us all?'
'we only know what is..just as you do in your heart'
'ah..the heart do you have a manual?'
'why do you still substitute a joke for a plea?'
...
'determination isn't wished upon, motivation not hoped for'
'What is it that you want from me?'
'What is that YOU want from yourself?'
'I didn't know you guys read Socrates'
we've existed and preexisted the time of Socrates...and still you substitute'
'...I still don't understand what you're telling me
'Its easier not to care and pretend than it is to try..
you deserve what you think you deserve..'
'i serve myself the worst of punishments?..'
'mohamed, you will..become a skeleton with rotting flesh'
'I cant understand what i don't allow myself to understand?'

I got up and ran, ran so far so fast
its easy not to care and pretend
'idle futures...heart wont heal if you keep tearing at the sutures'
lost cause?
or
seemingly stagnate pause?


--
contemplate what it is i implicate to complicate
Inspirations..Hesitations...Motivations..Desperation
intergrate it as i attempt to predicate what it is i indicate
realize you and me are free to be
judge me? I don't care to hold a grudge you see.
fantasize and have lies as explanations for the screaming whys

:D




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